Want To Be Married Again

A male friend of mine said this today and I had to share it here. I feel that what he said hits the nail on the head for what I want. I think it shows that not every divorcee is anti marriage. A lot of us are looking for it again and miss many parts of it.


"I want to be married again, to someone I can spend forever with and build a family.

Not to make me happy but to enhance my happiness!

Not because I'm lonely but because I desire to be intimately significant to a woman.

besides God said: "it is not good that a man should be alone I will make for him an help mate"

That tells me that my God has a woman out there who will meet my specific needs, one who wont be perfect but she will be dynamically perfect for me..."

Yes! YES! YES!!!

I am the biggest advocate for searching for a helpmate. I have faith that God will bring him and all of us on this blog our future spouse / helpmate!

I'm thinking age does matter..

So I have had the wonderful joy of meeting and going out on some dates with several young men over the past couple of weeks. Age ranges of 26-38..I know very large range. I have been blessed with good genes and I unfortunately am frequently approached by 20 something's who think I am in their age range. If we have a good vibe I am sometimes inclined to go out with them just depending. However after I have been out with several 20 something's I am officially over that age group. I mean my ex was 4 years younger than me. I just don't think that any man under 30 is ready for a serious relationship of any kind. I mean we may have a hit or miss here and there but the majority..not in any way. I say this because I recently had the pleasure of going out with a man who was in his upper 30's. Our conversation, our interaction was soo different compared to that of a 20 something. Now please note these young men I am entertaining are all professional young adults so I do have a bit of an expectation of certain behaviours and conversations to be held. I just feel that a mid to late 20's and even some of your early 30's men are trying to really play the field and enjoying life as a single successful man. They feel like they don't have to work too hard because they know there is another woman waiting for them, which poses the question why are we waiting for these men. We know that unless you catch him at that "time" there is no chance and needless to say we allow them to keep playing. I'm sure we would love to know what you think?? Does age matter??

When He Won't Commit

A question I have wondered and been asked so many times I can not count is "When should two people dating become exclusive?" I believe the answer is when they are ready. I do not feel a time limit should dictate this. But what do you do when one of them is ready while the other is not?

I found myself here recently. Wondering why am I still 'dating' a certain guy. At this point we know each other pretty well, enjoy being around each other, and have fun. We've discussed it here and there, but in my opinion it has not happened. I expressed my feelings about this (I believe communication is very important). I also explained I will date and have fun as much as I want if I am not in an exclusive relationship. Now I am at the point where i'm wondering... Like Jay Z said "What the hell are you waiting for?"

So now I am at the crossroad of Do I Walk Away Avenue and Just Have Fun With Him Drive. As much as I enjoy spending time with him, but I like him (yes I said it... go ahead throw your confetti). That's what makes figuring out to do so hard... that damn L word. (No not THAT L word!) At some point I expect the fun to end because I am not getting one of the things I want. I have to admit I am not good at the whole "Enjoy the ride" thing. I am goal oriented. "Where is this car I'm riding in going ? I don't want to go that way so let me out!"

Trying to decide what I want to do is just as annoying as the situation at this point. I think I will start with reducing my availability and communication with him for starters. I have plenty of things to keep me busy so that won't be hard. I guess after that I will make the decision to give up on him... I mean cut ties completely.

Ahhhh the joys... or not so joyous... of dating!

~ A

Online Dating

A huge part of being single and wanting to get married again is meeting men. One way is through online dating. Over my single tenure I have used it a few times. I used a free dating sites off and on in 2008 and 2009. Actually met my ex-boyfriend on one of them. When I found myself single again earlier this year I tried a free site again. I found that nothing really had changed. There is a huge pool of men but most aren't really talking about nothing. I am a huge believer in not giving my phone number out until I am sure I would want the person sending me messages to have it. I can count on two hands how many men I have actually met in person from a online dating site between 2008 and now. Yeah... you read that right....

I got tired of the free sites and wanted to try something different but was not sure what sites to try or to give up the online dating thing for good. After "T" told me about her experience using a certain paid site, I decided to try Match.com. I hoped that it would yield men who were looking for long term relationships. I have been using Match since June of this year. I will admit I am not consistent on logging in and looking at profiles. The caliber of men is different. There is a larger percentage actually looking for long term relationships. I love how the profiles allow people to list if they have kids, how many, and if they want more. Main thing I look for after checking height and body size. It also allows the user to list if they have degrees and which ones. These are features that some free sites do not have. 

 

I think Match is just "ok". The thing I like the most about is is the Stir Events. The site host local events and invite members based on certain qualifications. Some events are based on age, and common interest. I attended two of these events so far. They are fun and add a spin to the online dating. Other than these events and more detailed profiles, I am not a big fan of Match. I will not renew my membership when it ends in December. I feel trying it for 6 months is enough.

I have met a few guys in person off of there. No true "matches" though. I have given about a dozen my phone number. I notice that men think that texting is cool. FYI it is not. I expect phone calls when we are trying to get to know each other. I often ignore text from guys who are trying to get to know me. They can call if they want to communicate with me. Out of the men I did have phone conversations with... half of them did not ask me on a date. (This is the trend with men in general though, not just from online dating. I think a lot of guys have forgot how to court.) I have been on some dates with a few men from Match but nothing developed. 

Oh the joys of dating!

~ A

Introduction of A

Hello, my name is "A". I am a 30 year old single woman who lives in Atlanta. I am a mom, dog owner, divorcee, and tired of dating. Let me rephrase that... I am tired of looking for Mr Right! But this is suppose to be an introduction so let me get back on topic.

I am looking for love... again. I got married in the fall of 2007 and separated in the summer of 2008. I know what you're thinking... nope, it did not take me long to realize it was not the right fit for me! By right fit I mean my ex not marriage. I look forward to being married again. Since ending my marriage I have had two long term relationships. One lasting a year and the other lasting 2 years. I have been single for... (looks at calendar) about 9 months. Geez it feels like a lot longer than that.

I am trying to "just date and have fun" like people keep telling me to do, but I am a serial monogamous. I am fine with casual date until I begin liking a man, then I want us to focus on seeing where our connection can go. I do not easily like a guy, so if I say I like one throw some confetti. I believe in learning from my experiences and mistakes, especially in relationships. I am realist and far from a hopeless romantic.

I am excited about sharing my journey to love and marriage (speaking it into existence) with you!

~ A