Those Dumb Texts..Pick up!!

So at our age I think we can all agree and say that texting is a bit old and just young. It's one thing to send me a sweet GM text or something throughout the day. Even finalizing details to meet up is ok. However this let's hold a full conversation via text will not happen. We are to old for that, people tend to hide behind text messages and their phones. I don't want that I personally want someone who knows how to pick up the phone and hold a conversation for me. Let's talk about the day and what's going on. Now because I do talk to ppl all day I not pressed with being on the phone for several hours..30 minutes is good, I just would rather hold a conversation vs. text. I have also come to realize that many men seem to get a bit reckless when it comes to texting..How dare you text me certain sexual comments or innuendos. You are not my man! Please go kill yourself and when your done go ahead and jump off the bridge. However you may want to switch the order. A friend and I were speaking about this recently and he was telling me it has just become so much more easy to speak with a young lady via text and get to know certain things vs picking up the phone. However my question is how can you really get to know someone via text message. You can't imo. So why don't we go back to the 90's before cell phones and try and actually try and pick up the phone, you will probably go further in life. haha Happy New Year!!! T

Want To Be Married Again

A male friend of mine said this today and I had to share it here. I feel that what he said hits the nail on the head for what I want. I think it shows that not every divorcee is anti marriage. A lot of us are looking for it again and miss many parts of it.


"I want to be married again, to someone I can spend forever with and build a family.

Not to make me happy but to enhance my happiness!

Not because I'm lonely but because I desire to be intimately significant to a woman.

besides God said: "it is not good that a man should be alone I will make for him an help mate"

That tells me that my God has a woman out there who will meet my specific needs, one who wont be perfect but she will be dynamically perfect for me..."

Yes! YES! YES!!!

I am the biggest advocate for searching for a helpmate. I have faith that God will bring him and all of us on this blog our future spouse / helpmate!

Dates: The Over Touchy Guy

Dude! Why are you so touchy! You don't even know me! Ok... I did not say that but I sure have thought it on several dates! I am not a touchy person. Like in a relationship or to family and friends yes. Well to family and friends it is still limited. So when I am getting to know a guy and he is very touchy I do not like it.

I look at my body as a special place. Not every one, hell not many people at all get to touch it much less "enjoy" it. I do not even dance with guys I do not know when I'm out at a club or lounge. Yes... it is that serious.

Recently I went on a few dates with an over toucher. It was strange because I did not verbally say your little touches are annoying, but I made it obviously it was not normal. He would touch me or try to hold my hand and I would stop talking and look at the point of contact. Do not call me a B! I'm not touchy!!!!!! After several of these incidents he did not stop. One time holding my hand for several minutes on a second and third date. Finally I had the conversation with him. I told him I am not touchy and he is not receptive to clues at all. I am more of the hug hi and bye type, until I 'know' the person better.

I'm thinking age does matter..

So I have had the wonderful joy of meeting and going out on some dates with several young men over the past couple of weeks. Age ranges of 26-38..I know very large range. I have been blessed with good genes and I unfortunately am frequently approached by 20 something's who think I am in their age range. If we have a good vibe I am sometimes inclined to go out with them just depending. However after I have been out with several 20 something's I am officially over that age group. I mean my ex was 4 years younger than me. I just don't think that any man under 30 is ready for a serious relationship of any kind. I mean we may have a hit or miss here and there but the majority..not in any way. I say this because I recently had the pleasure of going out with a man who was in his upper 30's. Our conversation, our interaction was soo different compared to that of a 20 something. Now please note these young men I am entertaining are all professional young adults so I do have a bit of an expectation of certain behaviours and conversations to be held. I just feel that a mid to late 20's and even some of your early 30's men are trying to really play the field and enjoying life as a single successful man. They feel like they don't have to work too hard because they know there is another woman waiting for them, which poses the question why are we waiting for these men. We know that unless you catch him at that "time" there is no chance and needless to say we allow them to keep playing. I'm sure we would love to know what you think?? Does age matter??

When He Won't Commit

A question I have wondered and been asked so many times I can not count is "When should two people dating become exclusive?" I believe the answer is when they are ready. I do not feel a time limit should dictate this. But what do you do when one of them is ready while the other is not?

I found myself here recently. Wondering why am I still 'dating' a certain guy. At this point we know each other pretty well, enjoy being around each other, and have fun. We've discussed it here and there, but in my opinion it has not happened. I expressed my feelings about this (I believe communication is very important). I also explained I will date and have fun as much as I want if I am not in an exclusive relationship. Now I am at the point where i'm wondering... Like Jay Z said "What the hell are you waiting for?"

So now I am at the crossroad of Do I Walk Away Avenue and Just Have Fun With Him Drive. As much as I enjoy spending time with him, but I like him (yes I said it... go ahead throw your confetti). That's what makes figuring out to do so hard... that damn L word. (No not THAT L word!) At some point I expect the fun to end because I am not getting one of the things I want. I have to admit I am not good at the whole "Enjoy the ride" thing. I am goal oriented. "Where is this car I'm riding in going ? I don't want to go that way so let me out!"

Trying to decide what I want to do is just as annoying as the situation at this point. I think I will start with reducing my availability and communication with him for starters. I have plenty of things to keep me busy so that won't be hard. I guess after that I will make the decision to give up on him... I mean cut ties completely.

Ahhhh the joys... or not so joyous... of dating!

~ A

Dating with kids

I knew dating with a child would be hard but this has become a challenge. Everyone knows I am an overprotective, high-strung mother (I know) but I can't help it. I have dated about 3 guys this year and none of them have met my son. They have asked and I always say "No." It is hard enough for me when a "relationship" ends and it would be even worse if my son is involved. So when is the right time to introduce a man to your children? If I were to answer, I'd say right before you walk down the aisle. Lol. Of course before marriage, a man has to meet your child eventually but it seems so tricky these days. For example, a guy I met online lived a ways away so it was already hard to see each other and then I have my son 99.9% of the time. Do you know this fool suggested he meet myself and my son at Chuck E. Cheese? First off, everyone knows my distaste for that place and I don't even go there and second, I only met the guy once. One guy wanted me to bring my son to a bar, yes a bar to watch an LSU football game last year. SMH!!! I have heard many guys try to use the child to get close to the mother. I don't know who does this, but that would never work on me. I have read articles online about this topic and most of all of them say the same thing that you should introduce your child/children to a man when you are in a committed/exclusive relationship and see a future with this man. A lot of women see this the first time they meet a guy which is why they have different men in and out of their child's life. This just isn't a good thing having strange men around your children all the time and personally I feel a certain way especially if you have daughters. Just not a good idea. I already feel guilty with my son coming from a broken home and hope it doesn't cause too many issues with him and you know how close boys are with their mothers. I have an internal struggle everyday about this and just pray my son will not be effected by my dating life. He is so young right now but these kids are so much smarter than we were at this age. With my custody schedule it should be easy to date when my son is with his father however, it is not. So what do you do if you want to go on a date and have your child? I recently was asked out on a date and had my son. His father lives in a different city and couldn't watch him so I asked my date if he would pay for my sitter? Now it is only $25 and it's not like I can't afford it but I feel if he really wanted to go out with me he would make an effort and he agreed. Dating is already hard and then having a child makes it even harder. So when do you think a woman or man should introduce their children to someone?