Texting

What is wrong with the world when sending a text to a woman you are interested in is considered normal?

One of my biggest pet peeves in dating is for a man to ask me for my number and the proceed to send me a text message. Are you kidding me? Things that get ignored... those text!I will add a disclaimer... that if a man sends me a text asking when is a good time to call me, I will respond. But I will not have continuous text conversation.

I feel real true conversation is important for two people to actually get to know each other. 140 characters is a very limited amount of space to do that. I will take email over text any day, but prefer voice. You can "read" pause, context, sighs, and more in type. I think the conversations are important in determining chemistry and attraction.

It makes me sad to think that people, not just men but women too, think that texting is a way of getting to know someone or even "talking"! Court me! What happened to really dating? Really courting? Really putting an effort to get to know someone?

I'm going to end this with one my favorite text quote from a movie: “I may not text, and I may not get texted, but trust me… the subtext of that text is boo-tay,”

A Single Woman's Prayer

I was looking up prayers and came across this one I thought I should share! This prayer touched on several things that I am working on and a few things I will add to my list to work on! Prayer found here http://singlewomansprayer.com/ 

Father God, in the precious name of Jesus Christ,

I come before You in the most humble and earnest way I know. I come before You realizing that You know my thoughts, and even as I lift my prayer and praise before thee this very second, I am known of You. I thank You for forgiving my fleshly iniquity and my transgressions, for I know sin is designed to destroy, so I must capture my thoughts and align myself with Your Word to be the light you have called me to be. I praise You this day for Your awesomeness, Your omnipotence, Your kindness, and Your mercy and for the grace of which You have allowed my existence.

I realize that I am very precious to You, and that You have made great abundance available through Your son, Jesus Christ. Abundance in every aspect of life is Your desire for me, and the lives of every Christian. I acknowledge that everything I need, You have already provided, therefore the lack is within my own mind and heart.

I come boldly before You asking to be blessed with wisdom as I study Your Word, so that I will not be blind to the lessons I need to learn. I commit myself to learning those lessons well, and I will use them to cultivate my very best self for the uplifting of Your kingdom. For I understand that seeking Your kingdom must be my primary goal at all times, and only then will I have the things I desire. Help me also to use that wisdom and the manifestation of revelation to make decisions that will not cause me sorrow in the future, but rather the riches of Your magnificent glory.

I expect no less than the best, understanding that if the best is expected, it must be presented. I understand, Father, that I need to grow into an awesome woman of God before I can request an awesome man of God.  I need to sharpen my spiritual gifts to the point that I am confident, strong, and packed with believing power. Then together, my future husband and I can stand firmly back to back, prepared and fully armed against the weapons of the enemy.

Help me to reach a level of Christian maturity that will allow me to see a mile away a brother who means me no good. So that I will not waste my precious time on the non-sense of his pointless rap, and his devilish interest in only the curves of my wonderfully made vessel. I don’t have to allow impatience to prompt questions like "Is this the one for me?" I need only see evidence that he is committed to assisting me to stand firm in Godliness. That will be the determining factor of whether he is, or is not a presentation from You.

So while I am patiently waiting, and concentrating my efforts on spiritual and self growth, I pray You will call Your Word to my remembrance when I fall short. Every day please teach me those things that will help me to be the best that I can be, and therefore the kind of help-mate one of Your most valued treasures deserves. And when I am fully ready according to Your standard, please present to me a Godly man who will love me as Jesus Christ loved his disciples. I pray that his physicality will be pleasing to me, and that he will be well prepared to share and grow with me. That he will be compassionate and fully committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ, and to me. I know that if I have committed myself to You rightly, then it is impossible for me to be disappointed. So I thank You for my husband-to-be.

And I thank You, God, and praise You to the highest for how You have so magnificently blessed me all of my days. Even though I stand without a mate at this moment, I am not alone, and therefore not at all single. I can rejoice whether I have or have not because I am saved from the ultimate consequence of sin. I can wait patiently each day by being a blessing to the body of Christ, and enjoying the beauty of who I am in your beloved son.

I praise You for Your awesomeness, and thank You for Your love.

In the name Jesus Christ I pray.

Amen

I'm Just Not That Into You

I find myself saying this a lot. I meet a guy... he seems normal... and within a week he is acting like he knows me. It takes me a while, especially compared to their speed, to like someone. Much less like to the level these fools act like they like me.

Seriously, what can you really know about me in a week. Hell... two weeks?!?!

Two scenarios typically happen when "I'm just not as into them as they are into me". The first one I like to call the Puppy Dog syndrome. If you have ever had a puppy, you know that a puppy sees every person as a playmate. As soon as they see you they think it is time to play and get super excited. This is what happens in the first scenario. The guy meets me or has date with me and they  become a puppy dog with excitement. I do not know what it is. I have been told multiple times it is a combination of personality with brains and good looks, but I do not believe this because I'm sure many woman have both. Anyway in this scenario the guy acts like he has never met a woman before. Just super excited. Contacting me all the time. Expecting me to make them a priority. Making future plans without really asking me what I want. Much less if I even like them. All of this happens within a week to two weeks of meeting me. Yes 1 to 14 days. Crazy to me because I do not believe you know who I am.

The next scenario is similar to puppy dog. The guy does similar stuff in the same spane of time but instead of acting like a puppy dog, they act like they are in love and have known me months. "I want us to get married!" "You are my queen!" "You are the bright light of my life!" Um... sir... what's my last name? What's my momma name? What's my favorite color? What is my most embarrassing moment.

I know some of you are thinking "Aww these guys are so sweet!" Naw! The ability to fall in love, well really it is infatuation or lust, with someone that fast is a concern. Trust me, I am not giving them much time or attention so there is not reason for it. This is a sign that something is wrong with them or they are looking for love SO bad they are jumping on anything that appears somewhat normal. I'll pass on that.

Most recently, an older guy I met did this. Within 2 days of knowing me he's asking me if I would let him be my boyfriend. Uh... right now? Hell no! I take that title seriously because for me it is a step away from being my future husband. He told me how his goals were for us to become boyfriend and girlfriend. And how he could see himself marrying me. This is all after a 20 minute conversation when he met me and a hour coffee date. Concerned! I politely brushed off a lot of the things he did or said and told him to give us both some time to get know each other. 6 days after meeting me we had a "real" date. He acted like a little school boy on his first date. Nervous and strange. Acting like anything I would request of him would get done. I am all for chivalry, but I like a man with a backbone! And he showed me in conversations, stories he told, and his behavior when around me he did not have one. A few days later I stopped answering his phone calls and text when he did not calm down his behavior or take my hints to. I am sure he's a great guy for someone else. But his creepy behavior, in addition to not wanting kids and not being my physical type, caused me to remove him from the little tiny piece of my life I allowed him in.

I am dating to find my husband. Not a push over, part time lover, someone to occupy my time while waiting on my future husband, or anything other than the right guy. My standards and expectations are high because I know what I give to my mate and what I deserve.

Physical Attraction

I normally say I do not have a physical type. Personality, drive, and humor are the most important factors to me. I realized recently I have a physical type for sure. 

I remember having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about physical attraction. I was never necessarily physically attracted to him, but we had great chemistry and I liked her personality. Later in our relationship the lack of a physical attraction to him became an issue. He felt it caused our sex life to dwindle. I still blame it on his actions and spitefulness. Either way it got me thinking about what amount each... physical attraction, chemistry, personality, and other straits... go into my overall attraction to a guy. 

In the last week or so I noticed that it has a lot to do with it. I am physically attracted to athletic or slender guys. I love taller men but as long as they are at least 6 feet I can deal. I also like a cute or very attractive guy. Hey... I'm pretty... I can want the same in my mate! Call me shallow but men approaching me obviously want the same.

I notice my interactions and lack of interest in men who are slender / athletic happens very quickly. I don't know why the chunky or ability to become chunky is a huge turnoff. Might as well tell me you don't want kids! But that is a completely different post.

Anyway... this week I discovered I have a physical type. Guess I am not as open minded as I thought I was!